My Story: Part 2

After the birth of my precious daughter I started to relax into motherhood as I did with my son. 

But just a few days later I returned to hospital with a Streptococcus infection. I was also having real trouble breastfeeding, a terrible burning sensation. I told the midwife something wasn't quite right, but all she could see was the latch was on correctly so there shouldn't be a problem. After a couple of days of IV antibiotics in hospital I went home to finish off my course and soon felt a little better. Breastfeeding, however, continued to be a struggle. I just couldn't understand why, this time, it was proving to be incredibly painful. Another midwife inspected me and said everything seemed fine. But one night I had to really psyche myself up to breastfeed, I latched my baby on and bit down on my finger while she fed to divert the pain in my chest. I knew this was insane. Nobody should be breastfeeding like this. Through gritted teeth and eyes blurry with tears, I researched 'pain during breastfeeding' and discovered I had thrush. I went straight to the doctor who gave me the relevant medication for myself and my daughter.

Over the following two weeks I developed a further infection and mastsis.

After this roller-coaster I was mentally and physically all over the shop. My Graves disease was completely unstable with constant adjustments every 3-6 months. My thyroid it seems, reflected my general wellbeing and health. I lost my baby weight but I was eating terribly, comforting myself with sweets and and stodgy treats. To make matters worse, my husband also developed a disease and I lost a family member to cancer. I felt awful. Body pain, thyroid issues, digestive problems and a creeping sense of disassociation...

I was really beginning to feel like life, sucked..... and i didn't know if I had the desire to start feeling good again.

Stay tuned for Part Three. I promise it definitely gets better!

Here's to progress... and setbacks

I love my food, and by my food I mean Haegan Daaz ice cream, chocolate brownies, burgers and Oreo cookie milkshakes. Unfortunately, these foods do not love me. At all. In fact it feels like they straight up hate my body and go nuclear inside me after little more than half an hour.

After spending the weekend with my family and indulging in all sorts of foods that I used to be able to eat almost by the bucketload, my body clapped out on me by Monday. The symptoms I experienced were almost frightening. Symptoms I hadn't experienced before. I started getting pains in my chest (which I have had before), but this time I had pains in my legs and back too. I was so bloated, and felt as if my insides were (to be frank) rotting.

So what can I, and hopefully anybody else reading my account, learn from this? Healing is not easy. In fact it can be overwhelmingly daunting. Since recognising a lot of my symptoms are down to my autoimmune issues I have suffered from so much anxiety and insecurity.

Truth be told, I probably love bad foods way too much. And my love is making me sick. I have dabbled in paleo and dabbled in the gluten and dairy free lifestyle for a few months and found some relief in these eating habits. But now I'm realising that dabbling does not lead to lasting change. In anything. Whether that be half heartedly trying to get a promotion at work, dabbling in studying for a qualification, or as in my case, eating for pure health and nutrition only some of the time. As Maya Angelou said "Nothing will work unless you do." And part of the key is finding what works for you and committing to it. I am now more than ever realising the importance of putting my health first. I invite you to make a commitment, one that will bring real healing or meaning in your life, and put it at the foremost of your mind. Think on it daily, as a promise to yourself. The results will be incredible.

What other ways do you look after yourself, or would like to?

When things went wrong: part one

Graves Disease snuck up on me towards the end of 2011. I had no idea I was even unwell. I was six months pregnant with my second child and my body was going through a lot of changes. Nearly all of my symptoms could’ve been attributed to pregnancy. Feeling tired, hot all the time, disturbed sleep and faster heart rate (I thought all of these were normal). I didn’t even think about about seeing the doctor about any of these things. However, one day while visiting my mum, she tool a good look at me and said “one of your eyes is bigger than the other.” I immediately dashed to a mirror, and saw that she was right. How had I not noticed that? And more importantly, how had my husband not noticed?! He sees me everyday! Anyways, I put it down to a possible eye infection developing and said I’d keep an eye (!) on it over the next couple of days. But my eye didn’t normalise, and in fact, I noticed that both of my eyes were noticeably bigger than they were just a year ago. So after going to get a blood test, I was finally diagnosed with Graves disease.

When I first heard the term Graves disease I thought it sounded just awful (I was so glad to hear it was named after Robert Graves, who discovered the condition). I was nervous about this diagnosis. I was really worried I was going to transfer this on to my unborn child. And hearing how it could affect my heart, metabolism, skin and (already) my eyes, I was eager to manage it exactly how the doctors wanted me to. I did a lot of reading about what Graves disease was and how it was treated, but I didn’t find much about people’s personal accounts with hyperthyroidism. It seemed people only spoke about hypothyroidism. 

As the pregnancy progressed, I was closely monitored with regular blood tests, blood pressure checks and careful monitoring my medications of propylthioracil. At this point I was also suffering from pelvic pain.

I had hoped that once my baby was born that my thyroid would normalise and, eventually, I could come off my medications completely. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen and it was only the start of my health deteriorating.

Getting my strength back

So I have a bit of a confession. I have always wanted to be a blissed out yogi. With long flowing wavy locks, slender limbs and a taut tummy. There are just a few problems with achieving this. I can find yoga a bit boring. I have natural afro hair that shrinks as soon as moisture (sweat) hits it. I am only 5ft “3 inches. I have a long torso, short chunky legs and I’ve had two children. As the years have gone by, I’ve seen this fictional, idealised, yogic self getting further and further away from my actual reality. But last year, I’d had enough. I began to realise how impossibly miserable this endeavour was making me, especially because much of what I was doing at the time wasn’t even healthy.

I needed to finally be at peace with myself. To simply just BE. But I knew I needed to fix a few things in order to be able to do this. The number one thing I started doing last year was exercising. I took up pilates once a week  which slowly began to strengthen my body, but after a few months I knew my body needed more. 

That’s when I stumbled across Beachbody’s PIYO by Chalene Johnson. And that has made all the difference! I have so many exercise videos, all of which I have probably only used 5 times each at the most. The reason why I stuck to PIYO, was because I was desperate. Signing up to the free online coaching service kept me accountable in a way I couldn’t have done by myself (I didn’t sign up for the Shakeology as I’m in the UK). Hurting my back to the point where  I couldn’t look after my children for a few days every winter for two years was the final straw for me. At 29 years old I felt this was far too young to be feeling that way. This workout is the perfect blend of pilates and yoga with some cardio thrown in which will make you sweat like a beast (or least I did)!  For me, exercising was the first step in getting my life back on track. Feeling (and dressing) like a sack of potatoes will not do anything for your sense of self worth or self esteem (more on how I try to dress in a later post). Move in your body, aim to become strong. Work on your weak spots, allow yourself to grow and feel a new sense of achievement. I believe in you. xxx 

How has fitness changed your life? What tips would you offer those who want to get into fitness? Do you have fitness goals? What keeps you from getting fit, if you would like to? 

To find out more about PIYO check out this link:

http://www.beachbody.co.uk/product/fitness-training/piyo-workout.do

The beginning

This is my blog, on a journey to wellness through body, mind and spirit. I live in Surrey, south of London in the UK. I am married with two beautiful children and am seeking to raise them with faith, gratitude and wellness. Ever since my Thyroidectomy as a result of Graves disease nearly two years ago, my health and mental wellbeing has been a constant rollercoaster. This blog will chronicle how I will attempt to gain these things back and to live a truly full and joyous life. Thanks for stopping by :)