My Story: Part 2

After the birth of my precious daughter I started to relax into motherhood as I did with my son. 

But just a few days later I returned to hospital with a Streptococcus infection. I was also having real trouble breastfeeding, a terrible burning sensation. I told the midwife something wasn't quite right, but all she could see was the latch was on correctly so there shouldn't be a problem. After a couple of days of IV antibiotics in hospital I went home to finish off my course and soon felt a little better. Breastfeeding, however, continued to be a struggle. I just couldn't understand why, this time, it was proving to be incredibly painful. Another midwife inspected me and said everything seemed fine. But one night I had to really psyche myself up to breastfeed, I latched my baby on and bit down on my finger while she fed to divert the pain in my chest. I knew this was insane. Nobody should be breastfeeding like this. Through gritted teeth and eyes blurry with tears, I researched 'pain during breastfeeding' and discovered I had thrush. I went straight to the doctor who gave me the relevant medication for myself and my daughter.

Over the following two weeks I developed a further infection and mastsis.

After this roller-coaster I was mentally and physically all over the shop. My Graves disease was completely unstable with constant adjustments every 3-6 months. My thyroid it seems, reflected my general wellbeing and health. I lost my baby weight but I was eating terribly, comforting myself with sweets and and stodgy treats. To make matters worse, my husband also developed a disease and I lost a family member to cancer. I felt awful. Body pain, thyroid issues, digestive problems and a creeping sense of disassociation...

I was really beginning to feel like life, sucked..... and i didn't know if I had the desire to start feeling good again.

Stay tuned for Part Three. I promise it definitely gets better!

Here's to progress... and setbacks

I love my food, and by my food I mean Haegan Daaz ice cream, chocolate brownies, burgers and Oreo cookie milkshakes. Unfortunately, these foods do not love me. At all. In fact it feels like they straight up hate my body and go nuclear inside me after little more than half an hour.

After spending the weekend with my family and indulging in all sorts of foods that I used to be able to eat almost by the bucketload, my body clapped out on me by Monday. The symptoms I experienced were almost frightening. Symptoms I hadn't experienced before. I started getting pains in my chest (which I have had before), but this time I had pains in my legs and back too. I was so bloated, and felt as if my insides were (to be frank) rotting.

So what can I, and hopefully anybody else reading my account, learn from this? Healing is not easy. In fact it can be overwhelmingly daunting. Since recognising a lot of my symptoms are down to my autoimmune issues I have suffered from so much anxiety and insecurity.

Truth be told, I probably love bad foods way too much. And my love is making me sick. I have dabbled in paleo and dabbled in the gluten and dairy free lifestyle for a few months and found some relief in these eating habits. But now I'm realising that dabbling does not lead to lasting change. In anything. Whether that be half heartedly trying to get a promotion at work, dabbling in studying for a qualification, or as in my case, eating for pure health and nutrition only some of the time. As Maya Angelou said "Nothing will work unless you do." And part of the key is finding what works for you and committing to it. I am now more than ever realising the importance of putting my health first. I invite you to make a commitment, one that will bring real healing or meaning in your life, and put it at the foremost of your mind. Think on it daily, as a promise to yourself. The results will be incredible.

What other ways do you look after yourself, or would like to?